Big Worries for Little Boy
It was a very busy day yesterday. After going into the office all day, coming home and having the kid's friends here, having dinner, cleaning up, rushing around, helping Matthew study for a Social Studies test that he wasn't 100% prepared for......I decided it was time for bed.
After dawdling for the longest time, Matt finally was in bed with a book in hand. He closed his eyes, then opened them and said to me with a very worried look on his face "How will I ever be an Adult?"
My first reaction was to want to laugh, then I realized he was serious! Sometimes we forget that kids feel pressure too. We had a nice conversation where I learned that "it's no fun being a good kid sometimes". Matt is very responsible and really wants to do the best he can. I expect the best out of him that he can give. Do I need to relax with him? Thoughts?
After dawdling for the longest time, Matt finally was in bed with a book in hand. He closed his eyes, then opened them and said to me with a very worried look on his face "How will I ever be an Adult?"
My first reaction was to want to laugh, then I realized he was serious! Sometimes we forget that kids feel pressure too. We had a nice conversation where I learned that "it's no fun being a good kid sometimes". Matt is very responsible and really wants to do the best he can. I expect the best out of him that he can give. Do I need to relax with him? Thoughts?
posted by Karen @ 5:07 AM
7 Comments:
At 9:19 AM,
anonymous blogging woman..... said…
ohhhhh....that is so cute that he said that :o)
such an aries child!
i have no advice because well my child is only 3 inches long and i still haven't met him/her.....you're the best mom ever though, so whatever you do will be perfect!
At 9:27 AM,
Drew said…
Karen, just the fact that he expressed that to you say a lot about the support that he feels from you.
Kids do feel a lot of pressure now-adays. We didn't have all the outside bombardment that they deal with: 200 cable channels, internet, instant messaging. Our kids usually have more on their calendar than me and Nancy. Sports, parties, play dates, music lessons...it goes on and on. Back when I was a kid, we didn't arrange play dates; we'd get on the bike and ride to to friends house and call on them. We didn't take karate, and our parties were in the backyard. If we wanted to see cartoons, we waited until Saturday mornings (or Sundays if you like Davey and Goliath like me!). I think there was more "down time" back then.
It's so good that Matt wants to be a good person. You have given him a great foundation to build on. Tell him that he's human...and there was only One who walked the earth perfect. If he makes a mistake, it's not the end of the world. Mom and Dad will always love him. It's more important that he turns into a good man..and it sounds like he's on his way.
Down time and conversations with mom and dad...that's my advice.
At 10:19 AM,
Karen said…
Perfect advice, Drew. I value your opinion since you have such a close and loving family. And you are so right, its not even close to what it was like when we were kids. And there are so many kids out there that don't have good influences that it is scary! How can we let them have the freedom to ride bikes and play outside when there are so many maniacs in the world. Luckily, both of my kids still want to do things with us and don't even give a thought about bike riding with Mom or Dad. I think we need more weekends like last weekend, where we all just chilled and did puzzles!
oh yeah.. I always tell them that none of us are perfect and that God is the only one that is. I know I am doing a good job because I have such kind, conscientious kids. Sometimes its hard :)
Jess, thank you for that! You know its the most important job in the world to me and how much I ove Billy and Matt and overly worry. You will soon know just how deep the love for your child is..
At 11:51 AM,
Norma said…
Karen, you are a great mom and I know you don't put any undue pressure or crazy expectations on your kids. But they are at an age now where they probably see a lot of kids starting to cheat, not care about school, and wise off to the teachers...and they start to wonder why those kids can get away with it? Why should I bother trying hard and being good? Just keep talking to him about everything and let him know that you love him and trust him to try hard.
At 8:32 PM,
Andy said…
If you think about it - that was a pretty adult question in and of itself. I think a lot of kids today think that good and bad are relative terms and "if it feels good do it" is the way to live - it sounds like your son already realizes that there is a difference between right and wrong - which puts him way ahead of kids who look to Pro Sports athletes and Rock Stars as good role models instead of their parents. It sounds like your son has a good head on his shoulders! :)
At 6:20 AM,
Anonymous said…
Can you believe how fast they grow? He does have a really smart head there. Seeing how some kids in our boys age group act I can say that the question he asked may arise b/c so many in that age group don't put a second tought to how it may be when they grow up. It is great that he is thinking ahead but also has to keep his inocents as long as he can b/c childhood flies by. You are both doing a wonderful job it sounds with your boys and I hope that your talks with them shape who they are now and as adults...Stephie
At 6:57 AM,
Karen said…
Thanks everyone for your words and advice. Somtimes I do think I push both of them, because I'm "not going to settle for a B if they are capable of an A " type of thing, but I think that is what we are supposed to do.. Life is a challenge and you need to put your best foot forward.. and it makes you proud of your accomplishments when you try your best. I'm actually pretty laid back (as is Bill) but we are strict on certain things (respect, doing what you are told type of thing)..
Case in point about grades... Billy came home with a B- on a paper that I could see he obviously put little effort into it. When I spoke to him about it, he tried to give me the "B is above average Mom" No no no.....I think they are teaching them to be happy with C's because C's are average.. I was always taught to go for the A!
I guess life just isn't easy! They are both great kids - I'll let them slack once in a while :)
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