Book Review...

I read so much this weekend, but the book I read yesterday I couldn't put down. It was called NINTEEN MINUTES by Jodi Piccout. Reading this on the heels of the Virginia Tech tragedy was very thought provoking.

It was about a teenage boy in a small town in New Hampshire that had been mercilessly picked on and teased since Kindergarten and who finally snapped. It told the perspectives of not only the victims, families and classmates, but also of the perpetrator and his family.

Kids have been getting picked on forever. There was a pecking order when I was a kid and probably back when my parents were kids. But it really does have to stop. Sometimes people go too far and also people ignore signs of impending doom from these kids. We have all seen the "goths" walking around with their black clothes, and dyed hair and pins in their noses and we assume that they are troubled. I wonder if anyone ever listens to them.. I wonder if their parents talk to them and ask them how their day was. One of the things in this book that really got me was that this kids parent's had no idea what he went through on a daily basis. He told them things were "fine" when they asked. He spent way too much time in his room on the computer. He has accessibilty to weapons and directions from the internet on how to make bombs.
When he was little and did complain to his mother, she told him he needed to fight back and toughen up. She thought she was helping. I remember telling Billy to stand up for himself when he was having trouble on the bus. "Don't let them push you around!" I said. But I also listened, and hugged him and told him that he didn't have to change who he was. I also taught them both that they don't have to like everyone, but don't ever let me hear of them being cruel to anyone. In fact, Billy had a very hard year in 5th grade because he kept sticking up for a kid who had some problems and was teased constantly. He was so torn because he himself got picked on for sticking up for this kid. It's a catch 22. If you do the right thing and stand up for someone else, you become the target.

At bedtime I hugged both my boys as I do each night and told them to always talk to Dad and I about anything. Never tell us things are fine if they aren't and that we would always be there to help and talk things through. I'm lucky that my kids are happy.... there are so many out there that aren't.